The short answer: If your parent died today with no funeral instructions, your family would need to decide who has the legal authority to choose, then burial or cremation, then a funeral home, usually within the first 24 to 72 hours. Which family member decides is set by state law, and the order varies by state. The fastest way to avoid guessing under pressure is to get your parent’s wishes in writing now.
The legal term for this is the right of disposition: the authority to decide what happens to a body after death, including burial and cremation. Every state assigns this right to someone by law, in a fixed order, unless the deceased person named someone else in writing.
Who legally gets to decide when there’s no funeral plan?
The answer depends on the state. In Texas, the law puts a signed written instruction from the deceased first, then a surviving spouse, then any one adult child, then either parent, then an adult sibling, and only then an executor or next of kin (Texas law). In California, if there is no spouse and more than one adult child, a majority of the surviving children has to agree, unless one child gives the others reasonable notice and none object (California law).
If you’re an only child, or your parent lives elsewhere, call a funeral home and ask who your state recognizes for this decision.
What has to happen in the first 24 to 72 hours?
A short list of decisions comes due almost immediately, before grief has settled.
- Confirm who has the legal right to decide, using any signed instructions your parent left, or state law if none exist.
- Choose burial or cremation. In some states this choice has a strict deadline.
- Call a funeral home and ask for the itemized price list. This is required before they show you any casket.
- Notify Social Security. A funeral home usually does this, or you call directly.
How fast do you have to decide burial or cremation?
Timelines are set state by state. In Texas, a crematory cannot cremate a body within 48 hours of the death listed on the death certificate unless a justice of the peace or medical examiner signs a waiver, or a court orders it (Texas law). In Arkansas, a body not buried within 48 hours must be embalmed or refrigerated at 45°F or below; a body going to cremation gets that same 48-hour window first (Arkansas rule). Ask the funeral home what your state requires.
What does a funeral cost, and what can you say no to?
The FTC Funeral Rule gives families three rights that matter most in the first conversation with a funeral home.
- An itemized General Price List before you’re shown any casket, with no requirement to buy a bundled package.
- A clear answer on whether your state requires embalming, which in most routine cases it does not, and your permission before it happens.
- The right to bring your own casket or urn bought elsewhere, including online, without a refusal or an extra fee.
Costs vary by the choice you make. The National Funeral Directors Association’s 2023 survey found these medians, which exclude the cemetery plot, grave marker, and cash-advance items like flowers.
| Funeral type | Median cost (2023) | Change from 2021 |
|---|---|---|
| Viewing and burial | $8,300 | up 5.8% from $7,848 |
| Viewing and cremation | $6,280 | up 8.1% from $5,810 |
Do you need to notify Social Security?
Usually the funeral home reports the death to the Social Security Administration using your parent’s Social Security number. If not, call the SSA directly at 1-800-772-1213; it does not accept death reports online or by email (Social Security’s reporting page).
Social Security cannot pay a benefit for the month someone dies. If your parent died in July, the August payment, which covers July, must be returned; call the bank right away to reverse it.
How do you get a parent’s wishes on paper before this happens again?
If you’re reading this because your family is already living it, this section is for next time: a spouse, a sibling, or your own children. A written instruction naming who decides carries real legal weight; under Texas law, it ranks ahead of a surviving spouse, an adult child, or a parent.
Start with a plain conversation, not a legal document. Myend’s end-of-life questions you should ask yourself gives a starting list your parent can answer in their own words. A funeral plan for end of life planning turns those answers into instructions a family can follow, and the end of life planning checklist covers the paperwork: accounts, documents, and who should be told.
If your parent is still living and nearing the end of life, finding the right words is its own task. Myend’s comforting words for the terminally ill can help start that conversation gently. When the time comes to write a card or speak at the service, sympathy messages for the loss of a parent has language for that too.
Frequently asked questions
Can one sibling make funeral decisions without asking the rest of the family?
It depends on the state. In Texas, any one adult child can decide if no spouse or written instruction exists. In California, a majority of the surviving adult children has to agree, unless one gives the others reasonable notice and none object. Check your parent’s state directly.
Does a funeral home have to accept a casket we bought elsewhere?
Yes. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, a funeral home cannot refuse a casket or urn you bought elsewhere, including online, and cannot charge a fee for using it instead of one of theirs. This holds even if their own caskets cost more.
Do we have to pay for embalming?
Only if you choose it or your state requires it, which most routine cases do not. The FTC Funeral Rule requires the funeral home to tell you whether embalming is legally required and to get your permission first, not embalm and bill you afterward.
What happens to a Social Security payment that arrives after a parent dies?
Social Security cannot pay for the month of death, so that payment has to be returned. If your parent died in July, the August payment covers July and must be sent back; notify the bank immediately instead of spending it.
This article is general information, not legal, medical, or financial advice. Rules on right of disposition, burial, and cremation vary by state. Consult a licensed professional in your jurisdiction for your specific situation.
Last reviewed: September 2026
