Asking the right end-of-life questions
Nobody wants to talk about death. It’s an awkward topic and it makes us uneasy. But if we cannot talk about it, we should be able to think about it at least, right? And then what kind of end-of-life questions you should ask yourself then?
It’s sunny August. Maria is sitting down on the Villefranche-sur-Mer beach near Nice watching her ever-loving family and friends having fun in the water. It’s 35 degrees Celsius, she is eating her ice cream feeling happy and grateful for this moment.
By the age of 30, she already has everything she ever wished for. Loving husband and a beautiful son. House, car, and a decent job. Friends she can trust. And a lot of years of joy in front of her. Instead of embracing her moment of gratefulness, Maria started feeling anxious. Her palms are sweaty and she starts looking pale and uncomfortable.
And then a thought crosses her mind.
The existential dread of end-of-life questions
A thought that something might happen to ruin all of it pops into her mind.
What if something happens to her tomorrow and she doesn’t secure the future of her son? Or if she doesn’t get a chance to say the last goodbye?
Maria shakes her head in the moment, suppresses this thought, and decides not to mention it to anyone. She finishes her ice cream and jumps into the water to enjoy every possible moment of vacation with her family. Has something similar ever happened to you?
Although a significant percentage of people on this planet have anxious thoughts, not many will speak of them. And that’s okay. All of us have thoughts buried deep down. There are so many reasons for it: we don’t want to stress the ones we love, we think it’s not “normal” to speak of some topics, we are afraid to relieve certain thoughts. It’s fine. We don’t have to speak of it.
Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.
– Haruki Murakami
So which end-of-life questions you should ask yourself then?
As Murakami wrote: “Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.” We know it from the moment we are born. That’s why we live every day the best we can. There’s a lifecycle. And the end is inevitable. The only uncertainty is that we don’t know when, how, or where it happens. That brings a lot of questions to our minds. Come on, we know you might not speak of it, but you can’t deny you asked yourself some “just-in-case” questions. We all did. Let’s go through a few that are most often wondered.
How can I make my last goodbye meaningful?
You should ask yourself this question because you never know what might happen. People leave every day without saying goodbye and leave their loved ones reliving their last moment together. There’s no need for this. Create your last goodbye the way you want to be remembered. Believe it or not, there are many ways to do it. Are you a positive, friendly, open person? Are there any joyful moments you don’t want to be forgotten? Stand in front of a camera and record a positive video message on the Myend app. Save it and assign the Legacy Contacts to receive this message only once you’re gone.
It’s important to have a meaningful closure and make everything easier for the ones you love. Meaningful also means relevant. You can ensure your messages stay relevant by updating/rewriting them as days go by.
How will I know that my family will follow my wishes?
Communicate. You don’t have to tell them what your last wishes are, but make sure to talk to them and explain to them how much that act means to you. You can write your wishes anywhere you want, but without their word, promise or acceptance, those wishes are just words on a paper. In the meantime, until they (need to) read it, Myend gives you privacy.
You can write your wishes in your e-will or record them in a video message and your Legacy Contacts will get them when the time is right. Be creative. And try to make it as positive as you can. After all, it’s not easy for your loved ones as well. Do you have any special day like an anniversary or a birthday? You can make a little routine on those days to keep the beloved ones celebrating and looking forward to those days in the future. Make your wishes come true.
Who will take care of my pet?
Remember the last time you had to leave your pet for a couple of days? Oh my… We have all been there. The worry. The sadness. The stress. And the infinite joy of a waving tail and jumping all over the place for hours when we come back. Pets are the ones who love us unconditionally and suffer a lot when we’re not there.
They deserve the same love and care back. Did it ever cross your mind what will happen to your pet after you’re gone? They might fall into the wrong hands or even worse, not taken care of. You sure don’t want anything like that for your furry friend. Take care of them even after you’re gone. Assign one loving person to take care of them just in case. And make sure you have their consent before you do that.
I don’t have any children. should I even make an e-will?
Absolutely! Even if you don’t have children, you sure have someone you love. Be it a friend, relative, or a partner. Your wishes, thoughts, big or small assets – they all count. Make sure to share them. Leave something behind that people will remember you for. If you find the meaning of life in being a humanitarian or helping the less fortunate, you can even consider leaving things to a charity. Leave a footprint and become someone’s guardian angel.
And the final end-of-life question: How can I protect my family from suffering?
Truth is, you can’t.
Sorry to share the unfortunate news, but we believe that honesty is the best policy when it comes to topics like this. You can only help them in their grief by leaving positive and hopeful messages. You know best what makes the ones around you happy. Give them ideas of creating little traditions or future events that will make them look forward without forgetting you.
For instance, if someone always told you how they wanted a dog or to travel the world, but they never did, encourage them to do so. Inspire them to celebrate special days and make the most out of life.
There are so many other questions like this we face each day. And so many others we should be thinking about. And all of the answers are in an e-will. If you never tried making one, you can do so in minutes at Myend. Make sure to secure yourself ‘just-in-case’ so you can live without worries and regrets. Make the best out of each day, but be sure to have the ending you wish for. Regardless of what happens. Because you don’t get a chance to say the last goodbye twice.
If you want to explore all of Myend’s revolutionary end-of-life planning services, sing up today completely free of charge.